Moral Dilemma!

I don’t know what to do…….

I have a friend.  She left her husband of 17 years and ran off with her husbands/our friend.  Within 2 months they were living together.  But they at least had the decency to not flaunt their relationship in the pub where we all drink.  Where her husband still drinks.  But now they keep inviting the girls to another pub where they drink.  They won’t invite the boys as obviously the boys are still friends with her husband.  But for the girls It’s like saying “if you’re still my friend then you will drink wherever I drink”.  But we have all been going to the original pub for 20 odd years.  It’s the best pub in the area.  We actually don’t want to drink in another pub!  I’ve managed to have other things going on and haven’t gone to the other pub.  But I haven’t really wanted to if the truth be known.

Now she’s invited me to their house for a dinner party!  She’s said that she understands if I feel awkward.  Haha!  I feel like i’m in a no win situation, that’s what I feel.  If I say that I feel awkward I know that I’ll never be invited out again.  I dont really want that.  I just want time for the dust to settle.  Let everyone get used to her with him, especially her husband!  If I go, then I’ll be going against all my principles.  You know, I just disagree with what they did.  It’s an unspoken rule, isn’t it?  You just run off with your mates wife!  I think the guy is a slimeball, and I told my friend this when it all started.  So she knows I dont approve really. 

I want her to be happy.  I really do!  She wasn’t happy in her marraige.  She’s a lot happier now.  But I don’t like what she’s doing.  I don’t like what she’s done. 

I have no right to judge.

I dont want to lose her friendship.

But I DO think he’s a slime-ball!!

What do I do?


~ by tuscanystone on October 4, 2008.

2 Responses to “Moral Dilemma!”

  1. What can you do? You can only control yourself.

    I’m a big proponent of live and let live you, know?

    What if you told her it’s just taking you time to adjust to the new situation?

    I guess you have to ask yourself, do you really want this friend in your life? If you do, then you kind of have to find a way to be ok with it, right? If not, then move on. Everyone has a right to the pursuit of happiness, you can’t really hold that against her.

    My wife of 10 years left me. It was the best damn present she ever gave me! Something to think abuot. I’ve been jumping for joy ever since.

  2. I don’t think its her that I’m upset with. It’s him!! I mean I saw him drinking with her husband and persuing her at the same time!! I knew what was going on before she left her husband. This guy has been after her for almost 2 years!! I think that is so wrong! You can’t persue your friend’s wife! It’s not right.

    I agree that she deserves happiness. And I guess he does too. But I could never do that to a friend. What kind of person does that? You gotta have unsaid rules in life, and that is one of them! This kind of thing has never happened in my circle of friends before, I liked it that way. I felt safe. Now its all messy and horrible.

    I don’t want HIM in my life. None of her husbands close friends talk to him. But I am good friends with her! And I can see why she is dong this dinner party. It’s like we all HAVE to talk to him in HIS house!!! lol Jeez!

    That’s the dilemma really……..

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